COPS SAY SOME FUNNY THINGS

[stump66]

Cops say the darndest things!

The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh.... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And the best one . .

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

[LakeMaryKid]

cant forget the best of all that was recent.

Mother:"Hi i have two teenage daughters that are out of control and they are fighting each other."
Dispatcher:"Well mam what would you like us to do? Come over and shoot them?"
*SILENCE*5 seconds later
Mother:"Excuse me?"
Dispatcher:"I was just kidding mam it was a joke."
Mother:"Excuse me, well this is not a joking situation, I am sure you supervisor will not be pleased to hear about this what is your name?"

God i was LMAO when i heard that!

[gery350]

man they got an answer for all my excuses. i gotta think of some new ones. hey man i love your quadaholics prayer.

[CAOSPOP]

Lake you heard about that over there !!! sh*t that was a miami-dade police 911 complaint officer. all he got away was with a written reprimand. But it was funny as sh*t. It was all over the news the day it happened. I was LMFAO b/c its true. why the hell are you call the cops if your kids are fighting ? just go in there and beat the spit out of them both.

[bluesman]

where is pbso 4 so he can say that they were only doing there jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no wonder the public hates most cops

[CAOSPOP]

where is pbso 4 so he can say that they were only doing there jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no wonder the public hates most cops

Come on know be nice