1. I was sprayed by a skunk.
2. I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
3. My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
4. I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
5. I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
6. I couldn't find my shoes.
7. I hurt myself bowling.
8. I was spit on by a venomous snake.
9. I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
10. A hitman was looking for me.
11. My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
12. I eloped.
13. My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
14. My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
15. I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
16. I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India (note: she passed away 20 years before).
17. I forgot what day of the week it was.
18. Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
19. A tree fell on my car.
20. My monkey died.
