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Author Topic: do you like to fly????  (Read 4404 times)
stump66
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« on: May 24, 2005, 01:29:51 AM »

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
+++
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
+++
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
+++
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
+++
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
+++
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
+++
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
+++
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
+++
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
+++
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
+++
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
+++
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
+++
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
+++
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
+++
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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GOD PUT ME HERE TO ACCOMPLISH CERTAIN THINGS, I'M SO FAR BEHIND I'LL LIVE FOREVER!!!! 
AND ITS NEVER!!!!
TOO LATE TO START!!!!
Hollywood
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« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2005, 02:21:04 AM »

ROLMFAO  [smiley=laugh.gif]
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'99 4??EX: Laeger +2's, Elka Resi's, Tag bars, AC ProPeg, Sparks X6 exhaust, G-Force axle, Burgard stem/carrier, 250r Hood, Klaw MXR's, ATP Racing engine, LSR, MSR, PEP and the list goes on.

'03 Honda 250EX: Yea it's decked out too!

'03 Yamaha Blaster: Work in pr
Da_Mtg_Man
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« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2005, 03:57:00 AM »

Thats good.
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Chuck_Norris
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« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2005, 06:00:04 AM »

I can relate being a former airframer for the NAVY, Ive Read a couple good renditions of that before Grin
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jbbj220
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« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2005, 06:07:29 AM »

It does not take a college degree to be a pilot, just training and lots of hours as a pilot. Most airlines do require one to get a job with them, but there is no degree for a pilot. To be a mechanic with an airline requires an A&P license (airframe & powerplant) from the FAA. To get this requires that you either go to school for 3 years or that you have a minnum of 3 years experiance and then take 3 very hard written test and 3 practical test geven by a FAA examener. Most collages will recognize the A&P and give some collage credits. Yes I am a A&P and think that pilots are over rated and over paid. The plane can not fly without either one of us, but a pilot will make $90,000 +  while a mechanic will make $40,000 a year. Auto mechanics will make more than an iarcraft mechanic, did you ever try to pull over to the side of the sky from 25,000 ft. when the engine(s) stop running. I know I go on about this but it really jacks me. I will stop for now.
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stump66
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« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2005, 06:37:19 AM »

This tidbit  was emailed to me and I meant to edit it before posting it. I'm aware it takes no degree to be a pilot just numerous hrs. I have about 35 hrs solo in a Cessna 152. My wife got pregnant with our first son and being a business owner and "thinking"  Huh I was being a responsible adult stopped flying. BIG MISTAKE. I plan on continuing to get my vfr then ifr single engine after I'm all mended. Takes two feet for the rudder. I went to Dolphin Aviation at Ft.Laud exec. Riding a quad all by your self out in the middle of the forest is ALMOST as much fun as signing out a plane and flying away.

here is a link to what it does take to be a comm pilot.
http://www.gleim.com/aviation/commercial/cpreqs.php?PHPSESSID=b4a9535d6c0a72a23e78346265debe19&
« Last Edit: May 24, 2005, 06:40:02 AM by sport66 » Logged

GOD PUT ME HERE TO ACCOMPLISH CERTAIN THINGS, I'M SO FAR BEHIND I'LL LIVE FOREVER!!!! 
AND ITS NEVER!!!!
TOO LATE TO START!!!!
stump66
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« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2005, 06:48:08 AM »

Anyone ever see Travolta's house in ocala with his gulfstream and his 707. I saw him on a show recently and he is also certified for 747's now. Thats one big bird.
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GOD PUT ME HERE TO ACCOMPLISH CERTAIN THINGS, I'M SO FAR BEHIND I'LL LIVE FOREVER!!!! 
AND ITS NEVER!!!!
TOO LATE TO START!!!!
Quad32x
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« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2005, 08:11:56 AM »

Yea.  You  can  see  AND  hear  him  fly  that  thing  in  and  out  all  the  time. :-/
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« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2005, 06:13:54 PM »

I ve  never  Flown  !!!!
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stump66
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« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2005, 06:26:24 PM »

There is a huge difference from a commercial jet to a two seater, I'm not a really big guy but my instructor and I would be rubbing shoulders in the 152. My first flight we went out over sawgrass and he wanted to know if I could handle it so we did some power on and power off stalls, what a ride.  Grin
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GOD PUT ME HERE TO ACCOMPLISH CERTAIN THINGS, I'M SO FAR BEHIND I'LL LIVE FOREVER!!!! 
AND ITS NEVER!!!!
TOO LATE TO START!!!!
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