WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to
an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
”Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied,
”In-laws.”

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time.
” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get
our coffee.”
The husband said, “ You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is
your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says.......... “HEBREWS”

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00
AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
”Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew
she would find
it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AM
and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go
and see why his
wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft before the masterpiece.