More Mr Moms in the world

[big-daddy]

Cain it looks like its a growing trend.
 


The stay-at-home dad played by Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom bumbles through everything from his unruly baby's run-in with a vacuum cleaner to her destructive romp through the grocery store.

That image of the househusband is comical and might have been accurate in the 1980s, when the film was made. But today's stay-at-home fathers -- numbering about 2 million and growing -- are a different breed altogether.

"They see themselves as professional parents; the job they're doing is raising children," said Libby Gill, author of Stay-at-Home Dads: The Essential Guide to Creating the New Family. "The image of Mr. Mom is cute but not very accurate."

Gill, a Los Angeles media consultant, should know -- and not only from the research she did for her book. Her husband stayed at home with their two boys, now 8 and 11, from the start.

"My husband and I decided we wanted a full-time parent," she said. "I had the job with more stability."

She and others familiar with the situation say the trend has grown primarily out of practical and economic considerations -- but also because it's more widely accepted than ever.

Two out of five women today out-earn their husbands, according to Gill. So for families who want one parent at home, having the father stay with the kids is increasingly feasible.

"You see who is the best candidate," Gill said. "You do it by design, not by default … If you consider Dad a viable candidate, you've doubled your options."

Stay-at-home dad and former journalist Seth Agulnick fits this trend. For him and his veterinarian wife, Leslie, the choice became clear soon after their son Aaron was born.

"The initial impetus was simply that I was burned out at my job," said Agulnick, 32, of Raymond, N.H. "The rest was practical: Leslie can make a lot more so if we were going to live on one salary, we could do it better on hers."

Those at BabyTalk magazine have also seen evidence of the phenomenon. In the September issue, the publication ran the results of a "Mom vs. Dad" survey that generated responses from 26,500 parents, 11,500 of them fathers. Four percent of the pops were home full-time.

"I think that's a growing number," said managing editor Sally Tusa. "Certainly this is a growing trend. In the past, there was a stigma, but it's starting to become a lot more normal."

She, too, said the main factors influencing parents' decisions are salary and benefits.

"That's not to say they don't care about being good parents and being with the kids," Tusa said. "But they're very practical."

Agulnick said he loves staying home and wouldn't go back to work, at least not any time soon. But he doesn't buy into the parenting-as-profession theory.

"Anyone who tells you it's like having a full-time job is crazy," said Agulnick. "There aren't too many jobs where you can take a nap in the afternoon or walk in the park."

But just like their female counterparts, many at-home dads feel isolated and grapple with having to justify their situation to family, friends, strangers -- and even themselves.

On the flip side, working moms struggle with guilt and the stigma that they must be bad mothers who have abandoned their children.

"Everyone is getting it from all sides," Tusa said. "I hope some day we get to the point where we can all say, 'you've made the right parenting choice for you.'"

The at-home father/working mother scenario isn't right for every family. Plenty of couples manage -- and need to -- balance parenthood and two careers, and many others find the old-fashioned mom at home, dad at work situation is best for them.

No matter what setup a couple decides on, it doesn't have to be permanent.

"This is not a life sentence," Gill said. "Parents can trade places."

For Agulnick's part, he's happy with his arrangement -- and keeps a sense of humor about it.

"The best part is they're changing so much from day to day that you can literally see the development. It's incredible," he said. "I am having fun. We'll see how long I can stand it."

[mrbones]

I've been working at home for 8 years, then the first kid came 6 years ago. Now I also have a 2 year old. This is why I can rarely make a group ride as my wife works weekends most of the time. But soon they will be old enough to come with me and not make me pull my hair out. So I don't think I exactly fit the "full time fathers" mold as they are called in the article. If I wasn't working on something, even if its for peanuts, I'd lose my mind. Although I may have lost half of it half of the time. I'd be a liar if I didn't say I'm looking forward to when my youngest is 5 and they are both going to school. I'd be free from 7:30am to 2:30 in the afternoon. I could be riding (uh, I mean doing research for the site  ) everyday! Only 3 years to go!

[Able]

Research shows that children that have more supervision from fathers are less likely to do drugs, and more likely to do well in school and social situations. And if anyone can manage to have one parent provide a nice income working 3 days a week I say more power to them 

Bones - I know how you feel, I thought about putting my kids in school to get that break every day for me and the wife, but not with today's schools. Mine are all home schooled. Which gives us more flexibility. We can go riding during the week, camping, on vacation what ever when ever. It's nice.
Besides my wife only works 3 days per week so it's not like I'm "full time"

[big-daddy]

Research shows that children that have more supervision from fathers are less likely to do drugs, and more likely to do well in school and social situations. And if anyone can manage to have one parent provide a nice income working 3 days a week I say more power to them 

Bones - I know how you feel, I thought about putting my kids in school to get that break every day for me and the wife, but not with today's schools. Mine are all home schooled. Which gives us more flexibility. We can go riding during the week, camping, on vacation what ever when ever. It's nice.
Besides my wife only works 3 days per week so it's not like I'm "full time"

Home Schooled ?  who the teacher?

[Able]

Research shows that children that have more supervision from fathers are less likely to do drugs, and more likely to do well in school and social situations. And if anyone can manage to have one parent provide a nice income working 3 days a week I say more power to them 

Bones - I know how you feel, I thought about putting my kids in school to get that break every day for me and the wife, but not with today's schools. Mine are all home schooled. Which gives us more flexibility. We can go riding during the week, camping, on vacation what ever when ever. It's nice.
Besides my wife only works 3 days per week so it's not like I'm "full time"

Home Schooled ?  who the teacher?

Someone that know's how to appropriately use an apostrophe and the letter s to functionally couple them with the word "who" to make the knew inquisitive word "who's" 

[shogun323]

Someone that know's how to appropriately use an apostrophe and the letter s to functionally couple them with the word "who" to make the knew inquisitive word "who's" 

That would be someone that knows how. Not know's. You incorrectly used an apostrophe while telling him how to use an apostrophe.

knew word? That would be new. 

Sorry dude. I couldn't resist!!!! 

[Able]

LMAO we're all human. Occasionally typos happen.. it's when it's every sentence that it demonstrates your knowledge and use of proper spelling and grammar 

[big-daddy]

He!! I didn't said I was a teacher..... So I guest the answer is YOU.  I have a question? So what happens if they want to go to college?

[Able]

He!! I didn't said I was a teacher..... So I guest the answer is YOU.  I have a question? So what happens if they want to go to college?

I'm sure you're leading to a shot at me but that's ok, info for those interested in home schooling their own kids (I highly recommend it if you can swing it) 
They are in a state accredited program using Abeka religious materials. They are ahead of all their friends in public schools. Not only CAN they go to college, they get the first 2 years free at local community colleges because they were home schooled. They can also go to the local public school for part of the day for things like P.E. , but mine attend many other activities instead. There are many home school groups, including karate, and the YMCA. And although my wife does the teaching, I could. I have a college education and I can teach in the public school system if I want.

[big-daddy]

No shots....Cain I'm sure you are a great teacher, but don't you think that it maybe a problem went they need to get a job and employer see Home Schooled

[Able]

Not at all. Like I said they are ahead of their cohorts in education. Besides, they'll be attending college. When was the last time someone with a college degree was asked for high school transcripts ?  And as popular as home schooling is, I don't forsee that being an issue any way.  I've got a friend that graduated with her 2 year degree AND high school diploma at the age of 17. She's now a pharmacist making great money.

[big-daddy]

Good to know.... Do you teach Black History?

[Able]

Good to know.... Do you teach Black History?

Yeah and I even took my son to spend the weekend with a little cuban boy at river ranch to expose him to other cultures.

[Busta Nutt]

I believe Tebow was home schooled. After he did his thing at school he then went to football practice at the high school. Somehow I don't think Coach Meyer was worried about the home schooling aspect.

[Able]

Dalton Mayer is also home schooled........ you know the youngest pro rider signed by Kawasaki 

[predatorracer8]

i go to public school and i hate it, not just because it's school either, half the dang day you just sit there and stare at the bored it's ridiculous i want to take inernet class's but my mom aint so cool with that. school is a joke now, the administrators just want to make themselves look better so they put the crack down on you so they can get more money for your work. it's bs.

jake

[bandida]

Jake, please stay in school.   Instead of staring at the """bored""", try to learn.  Especially, learn to read, write, and comprehend what's on the board.  That way you can create a proper sentence, without grammatical errors.  Call me stupid, but it might even help you in the future.     

[JackL]

Stop slaughtering the language Able. Big Daddy has a legitimate excuse, you don't.

[foreman1]

  www.mrmoms.org

Heres a couple links to a website on the subject .
The guy just happened to ride at Bad Luck Prairie , so you get to read about single parenting and great ridin place we had before we got screwed.
 

www.mrmoms.org

http://www.mrmoms.org/BadLuck/BadLuck.htm

http://www.mrmoms.org/BadLuck2/BadLuck2.htm

[JackL]

  www.mrmoms.org

Heres a couple links to a website on the subject .
The guy just happened to ride at Bad Luck Prairie , so you get to read about single parenting a great ridin place we had before we got screwed.
 

www.mrmoms.org

http://www.mrmoms.org/BadLuck/BadLuck.htm

http://www.mrmoms.org/BadLuck2/BadLuck2.htm

Great links. Thanks for posting it.

[big-daddy]

Good to know.... Do you teach Black History?

Yeah and I even took my son to spend the weekend with a little cuban boy at river ranch to expose him to other cultures.

wrong again Cain little Ricky is Just like his Dad.......... an American. Now who the one taking shots? Ask about the black history, because I think it sucks. 

[JackL]

wrong again Cain little Ricky is Just like his Dad.......... an American. Now who the one taking shots? Ask about the black history, because I think it sucks. 

What sucks? Cains overt racism against black folks or black history in general?

[Able]

Stop slaughtering the language Able. Big Daddy has a legitimate excuse, you don't.

Ium suo sowree Il wurk aun et 

[big-daddy]

one month of learning black history when he could be learning something else.

[JackL]

one month of learning black history when he could be learning something else.

I can't believe they spend an entire month teaching black history in public school here. I don't remember that when I attended it.

Up in Georgia where my daughter is in public school they spend way too much time teaching them to pass the various mandated tests like the CRCT or FCAT to receive funding. I thought it was the same in Florida these days.