instead of posting some "hypothetical" question, here it is

[Ida_Mann]

This will be long, but all true I assure you.

I have to give you a little background here before I go into what happened today;

Originally I wanted to put everyone's names in there in the hopes that someone living in Deltona would know this happy bunch and know how these people are in real life, but thought better of it,,,,so I have hidden their names and just put initials.

1. I'm seperated from J since 2000 and divorced officially since 2002, we have a 7 year old daughter together by the name of D, this was both of our's first marraige.
2. J got remarried to K, they have a 3 year old daughter together, and are now divorced.
3. J is now living with and plans to marry DD with his three kids.
4. I have my daughter with me approximately 40% of overnights throughout the year which include every other weekend, and every fourth whole week.
5. this weekend is not my weekend to have my daughter with me.
6. I'm 30 years old, J is 29, K is in his late 40's and i think DD is in his mid to late thirties.
7. I believe my ex-wife to be a spawn of satan himself, and I think she constantly tries to live up to daddy's expectations(ok I had to throw some humor in here,,,or was it?)


So, I get home about 2:15 today after work to find my mother just hanging up from talking with K.  K informed my mother that he was on his way to Daytona Beach with D to spend the rest of the weekend at the beach just the two of them and he had made reservations at a hotel that is right on the beach and they both were excited about the prospect of a fun time.  My first thought was that this whole trip was a trap set for K.  My belief was that J offered(yes, I confirmed she OFFERED to let K take D for the weekend) so that she could then at a later date plant an idea in D's head that something inappropriate happened overnight in the hotel room and BAM, K goes to jail, and J no longer has to deal with him,,,,AND when K gets out, K has to pay massive child support on top of never seeing his daughter or D ever again.

So, I called K on his cell phone and when I tried to explain what I thought, his response was "I don't want to be the middle man in between you and J, and I got permission in writing to do this, so I'm not worried.".  He was sounding extremely defensive like I was accusing him of something and I came to the conclusion that he was misunderstanding what I was trying to tell him, so I told him to have a good time and hung up.  I didn't feel worried about my daughter's safety till that moment.  About 30 minutes later, my mother finds the phone number for K's parent's(whom he lives with because he's as broke as I was after divorcing J) and gives them a call.  She explains to them what I was trying to explain to K and apparently does a better job at it than I did and they tell my mother that they are going to call K right away to try to explain.

All is well, at least as well as it can be or so I thought.  My parent's get a call at 10:30 tonight(these people are usually in bed by 9pm every night) from DD who sounds a little drunk asking what the problem is.  I had answered the phone to try not to wake up my mother and didn't know who it was at first because I had only said about two words to the man before.  Once he knows it's me on the phone instead of my father he starts calling me quite a few names which I cannot repeat here or I'll have to ban myself.  I told him in a calm voice that he needed to call back when he was sober and 'maybe' we would have a civil conversation and I hung up on him.

I get a few more calls from him all of which I ignore and let go to voicemail, then I get a voicemail from J asking me to call her because she wanted to talk about things.  I thought she sounded civil enough, so I called her and I ended up finding out in between her calling me the other names I'd be banned for, that apparently K's parent's were thinking the same thing that K was and now that whole family is ticked at me for getting this 80+ year old couple upset.  I ended the conversation with a "just please keep the phone away from DD tonight till he sobers up."

Now I got three calls from DD in which he left voicemails calling me all the names in the book and I think a few new ones and telling me that if I had any testicles that I should come talk to him in person.  I think the most inventive name he came up with was fat-f**k(those who know me know that it took a lot of brainpower to use that one).

My parent's have taken the phone off the hook, I have my cell phone on mute.

Now comes my question, what the hell have I done wrong in this whole situation?  Am I right to be concerned for my daughter?  what the crap did I do to deserve this?

Id@

[FishaHallic]

First off FatF@#k you...............Just kidding, no to me it sounds like you are just trying to be a good father and at the same time trying to help some poor sap that does not know any better.

[qt314nfla]

Listen here fatf@&K, first thing you did wrong was you were born.  Second was you married the b!tch.  Only thing you've done right here is father lil'f#%K.  Yes you have all reason to be concerned that lil'f#%k is ok.  Especially since dumbf$&K seems to be spending time w/ her.

[Ida_Mann]

thanks, I'm needing some laughs,,,,specially since I gotta get up in a few hours to go to Dade City.

Id@

[SWAMP_DONKEY]

 Alec Baldwin

[Ida_Mann]

Alec Baldwin

isn't he some kind of radio talk show host ;-)

Id@

[gearhead400]

Like fish said you were just trying to help K out and warn him of the dangers. You were definitely not in the wrong on this. i bet J is making daddy proud

[1FasterBlaster]

 Sorry Ida!! I got dizzy after the second paragraph.I too think out of all that , the word F_cked was spelled.Be concerned for the kids, that makes a good Father. If the alphabet bunch works things out, it will be a miracle!!
    If anyone opposes your concern for your Daughter,I would invite them out to the Mudhole for a day to settle it!!

[1FasterBlaster]

   By the way, dontcha just love the perfect way QT expresses her wisdom!! You are a Guru QT.

[dynodon]

WOW, Ida, I definatley feel for you man !!!
 I was in just about the same situation with my ex Before I moved here to Fl almost 10 years ago.
 You have the right to be concerned, After all you are a good father, and thats your resposibility !!!

 Hang in there. Try to record the phone calls if possible, tell them you are doing it before hand though, Keep your cool about it. As hard as it may be----- DO NOT curse back ( when recording anyway).









 And just for the record, I am NOT the DD he was reffering to !!!!

[tony pitts]

This is Mrs. Tony posting.  I would in NO WAY let K take my daughter ANYWHERE alone and especially not overnight.  The fact that your ex-wife is no longer married to him and is OFFERING to let him take your child is grounds to have her custody terminated and I would tried to have her arrested for child endangerment.  I would immediately call the cops, the judge who officiated the divorce and custody proceedings and anyone else who could stop this immediately.  And if anyone called me to complain about what I was doing, I'd tell them, in very colorful language, to try and stop you.

I may not have read the situation correctly, but DON'T let this happen.  Maybe one reason that K and K's parent are getting so defensive is that there may be some truth to what they think you are saying!!!!

Your very first concern here is the safety and well being of your daughter and if they don't like it, then F*** them!!!!!

[Da_Mtg_Man]

It's simple Nathan, Just kill them all (except for the kid. she did nothing wrong)

[foreman1]

7. I believe my ex-wife to be a spawn of satan himself, and I think she constantly tries to live up to daddy's expectations(ok I had to throw some humor in here,,,or was it?)

I almost spilled my coffee on this one even though the statement seems to be true....LOL.

Divorce is synonymous with disaster is some instances and this sounds of one . As usuall the kids are the center in all the mess and they suffer as result .The hardest part of it all is having the self control to not to act as you would like but as needed to keep the things civil so the child isn't exposed to the mess. 

You seem to be keeping  a level head through all this for the sake of the child , good job and good luck.

[tony pitts]

You seem to be keeping  a level head through all this for the sake of the child , good job and good luck.

Level head!!!!  Good Job???  WTF... Yell, scream, kick, cuss and FIGHT!!!  This is a 7 year old child you are talking about.  For God's sake, stop worrying about how it looks or sounds.  IdaMann is a grown man and can take care of himself.  Who cares what people think or say about him.  His daughter is a child and cannot take care of herself.  Since none of her other family seems to be worried about what happens to her, her father is her last hope of protection.  Stand up, be a man and help her!

Doesn't anyone around here have a problem with a grown man, not even a blood relative or have any current tie to the family, taking the girl to a motel for the weekend alone?? 

You can accuse me of having a filthy mind for thinking of this kind of stuff,  but I hope someone gets scared enough about this to do something.  If this event is allowed to happen and something does happen to the girl, then her well being is permanently ruined and she will carry the emotional scars for life.

IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK!!!

[renmus]

I cringed reading that the X sent the child off with X2.  My first thought was:  free sitter service.  The second was what in the hell is that woman thinking, she felt the man was not good enough to stay married to, but feels he is good enough to send her BABY off with for a weekend.  WTF? 

[foreman1]

You seem to be keeping a level head through all this for the sake of the child , good job and good luck.

Level head!!!!  Good Job???  WTF... Yell, scream, kick, cuss and FIGHT!!!  This is a 7 year old child you are talking about.  For God's sake, stop worrying about how it looks or sounds.  IdaMann is a grown man and can take care of himself.  Who cares what people think or say about him.  His daughter is a child and cannot take care of herself.  Since none of her other family seems to be worried about what happens to her, her father is her last hope of protection.  Stand up, be a man and help her!



You can accuse me of having a filthy mind for thinking of this kind of stuff,  but I hope someone gets scared enough about this to do something.  If this event is allowed to happen and something does happen to the girl, then her well being is permanently ruined and she will carry the emotional scars for life.

IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK!!!

Tony ,
You're right with regards to the child and all , I agree .
What I meant with level headed was don't do something you might regret , that's all .
And yes ,good job on the self restraint , understandably ones first impulse might be to do something you might regret.
Every situation is different and of course if the child is in danger you do what you have to .


"Doesn't anyone around here have a problem with a grown man, not even a blood relative or have any current tie to the family, taking the girl to a motel for the weekend alone?? "
No one here is condoning this . 

[tony pitts]

No one here is condoning this . 

Oh, whewww....  I thought I was the only one around here that was being a paranoid parent.    I stand corrected.

[Ida_Mann]

You seem to be keeping  a level head through all this for the sake of the child , good job and good luck.

Level head!!!!  Good Job???  WTF... Yell, scream, kick, cuss and FIGHT!!!  This is a 7 year old child you are talking about.  For God's sake, stop worrying about how it looks or sounds.  IdaMann is a grown man and can take care of himself.  Who cares what people think or say about him.  His daughter is a child and cannot take care of herself.  Since none of her other family seems to be worried about what happens to her, her father is her last hope of protection.  Stand up, be a man and help her!

Doesn't anyone around here have a problem with a grown man, not even a blood relative or have any current tie to the family, taking the girl to a motel for the weekend alone?? 

You can accuse me of having a filthy mind for thinking of this kind of stuff,  but I hope someone gets scared enough about this to do something.  If this event is allowed to happen and something does happen to the girl, then her well being is permanently ruined and she will carry the emotional scars for life.

IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK!!!

you are thinking exactly what I was, and unfortunately, I was mis-informed when I was told that K drove back from Daytona last night to take my daughter back without spending the night in a hotel room.  She was returned this afternoon after spending the night, and after he bought her a bikini yesterday,,,,yes a 7 year old.

I'm sick today, and God help them all if anything happened to my daughter,,,,,I won't be moderating here any more cause I'd be in jail.

Id@

[tony pitts]

you are thinking exactly what I was, and unfortunately, I was mis-informed when I was told that K drove back from Daytona last night to take my daughter back without spending the night in a hotel room.  She was returned this afternoon after spending the night, and after he bought her a bikini yesterday,,,,yes a 7 year old.

I'm sick today, and God help them all if anything happened to my daughter,,,,,I won't be moderating here any more cause I'd be in jail.

Id@

Ida, what a terrible position you and your daughter are in.  For your daughter's sake, I really hope that it was an innocent weekend.  Even if it was, it could be sowing seeds of trust in your daughter that K could use to manipulate her in the future. 

I don't mean to tell you what to do, but I would think that one of your options is to repetition the court for FULL CUSTODY of your daughter.  No judge in their right mind would allow her to continue to remain in the care of your ex-wife.  If the judge does, at least there may be some additional stipulations put on your ex that says this type of thing can NEVER occur again. 

Good luck and be strong for your daughter.

Theresa

[ucfneed2ride]

Of course I dont know what the relationship between K and your daughter is like but...your ex-wife's ex, has no business spending a weekend with YOUR daughter. Thats puts you in a crappy position, innocent or not.

[greenmachine]

If you are in Florida, good luck . A judge wont act until it is too late. Then you need to call Judge Ruger or his buddies Smith & Wesson. IF I am in your shoes, I would have been in Daytona, calling every motel to find K & have the sheriff go with you to get YOUR daughter. Good luck man, dont ever give up for you little girls sake. BTW, if you ever want to go meet that guy, I am sure you got a few frends on here for backup.

[sbripple]

well ida ,what a mess.lets hope youre overeacting.Although I would probly be in jail if it was me ,you have shown great restraint and that is a credit to you and your concern for your daughter.If anyone endangers a child ,they are committing an unforgiveable crime and dont deserve to suck air.This goes to any child ,yours or mine.The law is useless until its too late.You have every right to express concern no matter how paranoid it may seem.Questions deserve straight forward answers and if they stutter they are hiding something.

[1FasterBlaster]

   I'll tell you this much, your 7 year old is intelligent enough to know if anything he did was wrong.Ask her, then go from there.I would definately be calling some authorities on your ex for letting her ex- who has no parental guardianship- take your Daughter.
   There are good people out there, but you have to protect her just in case.If I didn't approve of the guy...no way in hell is he taking my child to a Hotel!!

[Ida_Mann]

my ex already has filed a motion for contempt because I lost my job back in Feb and don't have the cash for child support till a week ago, and also lost my insurance,,,,,,I'm going to love to go in front of a judge and explain about this weekend.

Id@

[Busta Nutt]

I can't believe I read that whole f#%cking thing!