Headlines from the year 2029!

[Toomey]

Headlines from the year 2029:


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines

[RAD 450r]

Hey thats funny lol

[Mrs.Nightbreed]

 

[Chuck_Norris]

 

[Asphaltdragon]

You forgot - Atv activists still figting for the right to operate Off Road Vehicles, Offroad.

[Chevy1500z71]

thats prety funny lol

[MachineDog]

Nah, "Off-Road Activists still fighting for the right to operate Electric Scooters, Congress says by the year 2030 an off-road area will be made for this purpose."
"Offroad activists calling BS on Congress."

Ya'know.. the cooler thing about this is if we could make pure hydrogen without any impurities it would be more powerful than gasoline. Unfortunately we're stuck with the BMW Hydro-Car thing that has a 5.0 V12 modified to run pure hydrogen at 250HP. Which ain't really that bad seeing as the *4.0* V6 in the Mustang produces 210 Horses. But then again the BMWs actual 5.0L V10 produces 500 horses. Meh, the future shall suck.

[Fox17]

lmao!! thats really funny.