If it fits

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
   he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
   some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes
   and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the
   billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and
   somehow swallows it whole.
   **
   **The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
   **
   **"No, what?"
   **
   **"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
   **
   **"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
   in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
   **
   **The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
   ate and leaves.
   **
   **Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
   him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
   **
   **While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
   cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
   eats it.
   **
   **Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
   it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
   monkey did now?"
   **
   **"No, what?" replied the man.

   "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled
   them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
   **
   **"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
   everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
   measures everything first."** *