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Author Topic: ANGER MANAGEMENT  (Read 8712 times)
dgt714
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« on: May 22, 2008, 07:11:51 PM »

Here is a way to handle frustration and anger.



> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
> to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
> "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn
> Carter?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
> number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

> anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to

> call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
> digits.
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!"
> and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to
> it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was
> paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd  call him up and yell,
> "You're an a#$hole!"
>
> It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole'
> calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,
> this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
> you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
> and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up.
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
> for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign
> in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had
> his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the  BMW
> a$#hole, too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
> He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and
> the car's parked right out in front."
>
> I asked, "What's your name?"
>
> He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
>
> I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> He said, "Yes?"
>
> I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!"
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
> Now, when
> I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an
> idea. I called a$#hole #1.
>
> He said, "Hello."
>
> I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I
> didn't hang up.)
>
> He asked, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah,"
>
> He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
>
> I said,
>  "Make me,"
>
> He asked, "Who are you?"
>
> I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34
> Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in
> front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
> saying your prayers."
>
> I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up.
>
> Then I called A$#hole #2.
>
> He said, "Hello?"
>
> I said, "Hello, a$#hole,"
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> I said, "You'll what?"
>
> He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."
>
> I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance.
> I'm coming over right
> now."
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
> at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay

> lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
> Blvd.
>
> I
>  quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in
> time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front

> of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
> crew.
>
> NOW, I feel much better.
>
> Anger management really does work.



 [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]





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Fox17
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« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 10:50:54 PM »

i need to try that
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kawasakimojaverider
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« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 10:58:03 PM »

Here is a way to handle frustration and anger.



> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
> to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
> "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn
> Carter?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
> number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

> anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to

> call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
> digits.
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!"
> and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to
> it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was
> paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd  call him up and yell,
> "You're an a#$hole!"
>
> It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole'
> calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,
> this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
> you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
> and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up.
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
> for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign
> in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had
> his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the  BMW
> a$#hole, too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
> He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and
> the car's parked right out in front."
>
> I asked, "What's your name?"
>
> He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
>
> I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> He said, "Yes?"
>
> I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!"
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
> Now, when
> I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an
> idea. I called a$#hole #1.
>
> He said, "Hello."
>
> I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I
> didn't hang up.)
>
> He asked, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah,"
>
> He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
>
> I said,
>  "Make me,"
>
> He asked, "Who are you?"
>
> I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34
> Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in
> front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
> saying your prayers."
>
> I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up.
>
> Then I called A$#hole #2.
>
> He said, "Hello?"
>
> I said, "Hello, a$#hole,"
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> I said, "You'll what?"
>
> He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."
>
> I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance.
> I'm coming over right
> now."
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
> at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay

> lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
> Blvd.
>
> I
>  quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in
> time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front

> of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
> crew.
>
> NOW, I feel much better.
>
> Anger management really does work.



 [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]






lol Bow
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Slick89
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« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2008, 12:51:08 AM »

haha good one
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« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2008, 07:38:30 AM »

You might need professional help, Dan.  That's funny!
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« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2008, 08:49:54 AM »

is there a way to add phone numbers to the profiles on this site  Kiss

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« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2008, 02:15:17 PM »

   Someone took my parking space while I was going into Home Depot to buy supplies for work. I noticed he was still parked when I came out.
   Because I had to look for another parking space, it took up more of my time than necessary. To thank him, I generously gave him a handful of roofing nails under his tires!! Have a nice day  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2008, 05:09:31 PM »

I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price
So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$
Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call
so I talk as if he was
then he says the same thing as I do it too
then 2 days later he does it again
again I play along
then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it
his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't
6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart
I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry
but I tell them both please don't call no more
they do it again and again
I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks
I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them
I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call
and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again
this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while.
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Fox17
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« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2008, 10:42:08 PM »

I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price
So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$
Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call
so I talk as if he was
then he says the same thing as I do it too
then 2 days later he does it again
again I play along
then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it
his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't
6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart
I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry
but I tell them both please don't call no more
they do it again and again
I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks
I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them
I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call
and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again
this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while.

new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol
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miami_rider#13
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« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2008, 11:10:53 PM »

Here is a way to handle frustration and anger.



> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
> to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
> "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn
> Carter?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
> number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

> anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to

> call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
> digits.
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!"
> and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to
> it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was
> paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd  call him up and yell,
> "You're an a#$hole!"
>
> It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole'
> calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,
> this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
> you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
> and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up.
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
> for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign
> in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had
> his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the  BMW
> a$#hole, too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
> He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and
> the car's parked right out in front."
>
> I asked, "What's your name?"
>
> He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
>
> I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> He said, "Yes?"
>
> I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!"
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
> Now, when
> I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an
> idea. I called a$#hole #1.
>
> He said, "Hello."
>
> I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I
> didn't hang up.)
>
> He asked, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah,"
>
> He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
>
> I said,
>  "Make me,"
>
> He asked, "Who are you?"
>
> I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34
> Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in
> front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
> saying your prayers."
>
> I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up.
>
> Then I called A$#hole #2.
>
> He said, "Hello?"
>
> I said, "Hello, a$#hole,"
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> I said, "You'll what?"
>
> He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."
>
> I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance.
> I'm coming over right
> now."
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
> at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay

> lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
> Blvd.
>
> I
>  quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in
> time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front

> of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
> crew.
>
> NOW, I feel much better.
>
> Anger management really does work.



 [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]







LMFAOOOO
officially the funniest thing on this website for sure
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« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2008, 09:57:35 AM »

lol funny sh*t
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« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2008, 10:12:54 AM »

I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price
So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$
Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call
so I talk as if he was
then he says the same thing as I do it too
then 2 days later he does it again
again I play along
then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it
his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't
6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart
I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry
but I tell them both please don't call no more
they do it again and again
I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks
I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them
I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call
and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again
this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while.

new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol

Thats awesome but the first one was better, even if it probably wasnt true.
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« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2008, 07:12:47 PM »

I also had a$$Ole experience I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got calls for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck,but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? (questions) but if you are an a$$Ole I store it (YOUR PHONE #) on the phone and whenever you ( the person interested) calls back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ (PRICE). I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price.
So when a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$(PRICE).
Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where a 1st time call.
so I talk as if he was calling for the first time.
then he says the same thing (PRICE IS TOO HIGH) as I do it too (SORRY THAT IS THE PRICE ($$)).
then 2 days later he does it again.
again I play along .
then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it.
his friend calls later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't.
6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart.
I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high. I say I am sorry
but I tell them both please don't call no more.
they do it again and again.
I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks.
I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them "I sold it sorry thanks for calling" but it was I that called them.
I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call,
and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didn't want to change it ,they started turning it off at night for bed, so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again.
this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number. I said ( to myself )thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method works store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles. then have your fun with them a while.

new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol
I am sorry you can not tell where to stop a sentence so I corrected it for a little for your enjoyment.Please feel free if I need to capitalize the first letter at the beginning of the sentences for you also. Yours is probably a number I'd store for a little while.  Wink Wink
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dgt714
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« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2008, 07:17:18 PM »

   Someone took my parking space while I was going into Home Depot to buy supplies for work. I noticed he was still parked when I came out.
   Because I had to look for another parking space, it took up more of my time than necessary. To thank him, I generously gave him a handful of roofing nails under his tires!! Have a nice day  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Nice touch  Grin Grin
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dgt714
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« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2008, 07:20:03 PM »

You might need professional help, Dan.  That's funny!
  I know  Grin Grin Grin Sofa Peeky nanaparty
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quadracer1992
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« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2008, 08:46:15 PM »

You might need professional help, Dan.  That's funny!
  I know  Grin Grin Grin Sofa Peeky nanaparty
was it like a joke you found online or did you actually do that?
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dgt714
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« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2008, 09:03:02 PM »

 An email one of my "sik"friends sent me.
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FoxHondaRider
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« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2008, 04:44:31 PM »

that one made my day.  thats hilarious!
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