Getting Old

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?""
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
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An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me, your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife..."
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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
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Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
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When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra class.
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You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
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I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
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Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
But it's worse when you forget to pull it down.
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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf.
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Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the
second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't
find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you
find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old! ,
tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does you wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
--- let's go look for yours."