Bigscrb15
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« on: September 21, 2005, 08:19:39 PM » |
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PLEASE REMEMBER THESE ARE JOKES! NOT TO BE TAKEN OFFENSIVELY
Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey has the most Toxic Dumps??
New Jersey got first pick.
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10 THINGS BLACK & HISPANICS KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WONT ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not white. 3. Rap music is here to stay. 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny does not equal sexy. 6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. 7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller. 8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5. 9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. 10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
10 THINGS WHITE & BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Hickeys are not attractive. 2. Chicken is food, not a roommate. 3. Jesus is not a name for your son. 4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration. 5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter. 6. Jump out and run is not a clause in any insurance policies. 7. 10 people to a car is considered too many. 8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. 9. Momi and Popi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family. 10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.
10 THINGS WHITE & HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. O.J. did it. 2. Tupac is dead. 3. Teeth should not be decorated. 4. Weddings should start on time. 5. Your pastor doesn't know everything. 6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. 7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color. 8. Church does not require expensive clothes. 9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
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Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties
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A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
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Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends."
Father Donavon asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say father, please."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Brydie Sharon?"
"I'm sorry, but I will not name her."
"Was it Mary Catherine Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed, Father."
"Was it Fiona McDonald then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned and now you must atone. You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads."
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