Home ATV Florida Forum ATV Florida Where to Ride? ATV Florida Links Advertise


Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Message to pets  (Read 2070 times)
SwampRat
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Location: Jupiter, FL

Posts: 193


Life's hard; get a helmet.


View Profile

Ignore
« on: June 21, 2005, 04:17:05 PM »

Dear Dogs and Cats,
 
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
 
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
 
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
 
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
 
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
 
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
 
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, won't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
Logged

06 F-250 4x4 PSD TowCommand
06 Weekend Warrior FS2300; Onan 4KW Genset
05 Suzuki King Quad; 27" 589's; 2.5 Warn Winch; Garmin Map76 GPS
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a126/SwampRat_/Avatars/mudriders.jpg
Albright335
Senior Member
****
Offline Offline

Location: Malabar, FL

Posts: 367


GEICO Powersports


View Profile WWW

Ignore
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2005, 04:27:49 PM »

LoL!!!! Grin
Logged

Thank You: GEICO, Lojaks Yamaha, MAXXIS, MSR, HMF, Rath Racing, HiPer, GT Thunder, FASST, BelRay, DP Brakes,Triple X Motorsports, PowerMadd, Precision, Spider Grips, CV4, MotoPro Training, Scott, IMS
MxRacingChick21
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Location: Hudson

Posts: 134


Finally, ATVFlorida.com is here!


View Profile

Ignore
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2005, 05:00:58 PM »

 Cheesy Thats pretty funny.
Logged

02 Ford Lightning
04 Suzuki GSXR 1000
04 Yamaha YFZ 450
03 Suzuki z400
Mrs.Nightbreed
Guest

« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2005, 05:40:14 PM »

  Grin That's cute! and oooooh so true  Grin
Logged
susieblazer
Supreme Member
*****
Offline Offline

Location: Saint Petersburg, Fl

Posts: 1320


It's WHAT the winds blowing!! Git R Dun


View Profile WWW

Ignore
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2005, 09:18:26 PM »


     So funny and yet true, we love our "fur" babies...............
Logged

2000 Polaris 325 Trail Boss  Red/White/Blue
2005 Polaris 250 Trail Blazer  50 Year Edition Orange
2005 Suzuki LTZ400   White/Blue
Railbuggy Type 4 (4 seater)  Light Burgandy
qt314nfla
Guest

« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2005, 09:42:14 PM »

Thanks for a great laugh.  I had to read it to my mom and laughed hysterically as I read it.

My dog is the only child I'll be having in this lifetime.
Logged
Quad32x
Supreme Member
*****
Offline Offline

Location: Anthony , Fl.

Posts: 4055

Work My Sausage !


View Profile

Ignore
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2005, 04:06:04 PM »

Thats  super ! Grin   Thanks  for  the  laugh !!! Grin Grin
Logged

Team LFG , Local Fat Guys.
Mystic Motorsports Vet Class Rider #32
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Other Florida sites of interest: www.PinballShark.com

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!