girly jokes

[Mudneck]

Subject:    She Wins:


 

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 
 
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you.  I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.  I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.  Those are my rules.  Any comments?
 
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me.  Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."

                           (DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
 
                 ************************************
 
Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!   The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies.  "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

                           (HE ASKED FOR IT! )
 
                    ******************************
 
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

                   (YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
 
              ******************************************

Marriage  (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.  He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.  The man decides that it's time to go
home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.  He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready,  Father of Four."

                            (RIGHT ON, LADY! )
 
                **************************************

                Marriage  (Part V)   The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.  Not wanting to be the first to
break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.  The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..  The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
 
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

[05greengriz]

Thats pretty good Wacker.

[Mudneck]

I am banished to the womans forum.Im in too much trouble in the othere site!I get threatening PMs' all my pics get painted & deleted.I am just a wreck :'(Chillin w/ladies for a while...........
 

HA!~

[Bo322]

Wacker!!

What the heck man??!!

Yer in the chicks lounge. Snap out of it!!

Get ahold of yourself!!

[Bigscrb15]

he is getting in touch with his sport side.

[kfx400rob]

"Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready,  Father of Four."

 

hahahahaha lol

owned!

[Mudneck]

To all my friends: I picked some of those shrooms growing in the cow paties last weekend & came home & poured me a large glass of Angel trumpet tea
They even locked me off the server.Someone changed my password & deleted all my vagina pics....Im so sad


http://members.chello.at/thomas.jilge/Frei/I_Like_You.swf

[FORD4X4GIRL]

I so needed a great laugh this morning ! Thanx ! 

[racingbroke]

These jokes are soooo funny! where did you come up with them?

[Sleazy_Rider78]

Here's a joke for you girls.  Guys are like parking spaces.........all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

[qt314nfla]

Here's a joke for you girls.  Guys are like parking spaces.........all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Another good one.  Thanks for letting us know the odds aren't good sleazy.

[GrlNextDoor]

I think we all knew how the odds were, just not ready to admit it.  it has now been confirmed.

[SwampRat]

Bushwacker, so this is where you are hiding.  Should have known.

[Mudneck]

Bushwacker, so this is where you are hiding.  Should have known.

That was  on: May 11, 2006, 01:23:49 PM » I think you have been surfing the archives no more drinking while your at work swampy

[DirtyBlonde4x4]

haha