ATV Florida Forum

I hope some of these will help brighten someones day...

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God
>asked him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to
>talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion, and that it
>would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for
>you, and when you discover clothing, she'll wash it for you. She will
>always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and
>never ask you to getup in the middle of the night to take care of them. She
>will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when
>you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely
>give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will
>a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked,
>"What can I get for a rib?" The rest is history.

A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive,
>expertly tailored black suit.
>
>The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
>He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already
>wearing.
>
>The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his
>best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the
>mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please
>have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."
>
>The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her
>husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the
>suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost,
>I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How
>much did you spend?"
>
>To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check.
>"There's no charge," he says.
>
>"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue
>suit!" she says.
>
>"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a
>deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly
>after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I
>asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit
>instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I
>just switched the heads."