ATV Florida Forum

Somethings been bothering me lately.It seems that several people in
my subdivision all of a sudden are separating or getting divorced.This
coupled with several  couples that are friends of my wife and I.Who
are in the same limbo.I have a brother and a sister who are remarried
to vastly better spouses.But a lot of these people I know seemed to
have pretty solid marriages on the outside.What goes on inside closed
doors isnt always what you and I see.I guess the point to this is that
these seem to hit close to home.I will be married 8 yrs in October and very happily so.Its just scary to think one day it coulld change and the
world upside down.But I think people just give too easily themse days
and dont work out the tough stuff.To get to the better places.Sorry to
ramble just was on my mind,Let me know what you think

Been Married to the Grizz for 22 years. Would have left at least 15 times if not for the chains J/K but marriage is alot of work and sometimes people don't want to put in the time.
   Mama Grizz

Every one I know that is married has ended in divorced or is on the verge. I think the majority of us are not meant to be with one person our whole lives.

You are happily married but is your wife. j/k Been married 21 yrs. and wouldn't give it up for anything. Don't worry about anybody else, if you found your soul mate that's all that matters and it will last forever.

    Bill and i will celebrate our 32nd anniversary on Aug 8th. It takes both parties to make a marriage happy and lasting, with communication, honesty,affection and enjoying things as a family. And the best advice we got when we married was from an elderly couple married 75 years: NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.........We also wish the best to spacerider and dirtygrl80, after they tie the knot , Wow the house to ourselves...............so many people just give up or marry for the wrong reasons........we were even next door neighbors in school ...so it can work .................LOL.........  I applaud anyone else who has been with the love of their life as long....................

I agree. Divorce and separations do seem to be commonplace. I think it is a combination between couples rushing into marriage... or giving up to easy. No one ever said relationships are easy. No matter how long you are with someone... if you truely love them... you will do your best to work out any problems that come along. I think people just want to take the "easy" way out and end relationships. They dont want to take the extra time or cry the extra tears to make a relationship better and get to the root of whatever problem may be there. The hardest part about realtionships to me is when one person (usually me) give 200%, but the other person only seems to give 10%.... its gets old fast! And eventually, it really starts to hurt. Sometimes a seemingly huge issue can be fixed with something as simple as saying "I'm sorry", doing some extra little romantic thing, giving a little breathing room, or going out on a date together once a week/month.. whatever. In my experiences.... the best things in life arent always the easiest to acheive. I know I would do anything for something or someone that I love... especially a significant other.

I got lucky and met my true soulmate first try ... I hope everyone else  can experience of finding the person you truely love , I makes life soo much better . :'(

I'm with ya J.D. me too ;)

No doubt about it, being married is hard work, but it also has its rewards.  I would not have it any other way, we have been married 9 years now with 2 great kids.  Getting past the "7 year itch" always helps.

There are lots of reasons people get divorced, some are stupid and some make more sense, but whatever the reasons, I don't think that that it is a good way to solve anything permanently.  Often people just trade one set of problems for another after divorce.  I know first hand what it does to a family.  My parents divorced more than 27 years ago, and to this day we have family problems stemming from that.  Try getting together for the holidays for a start. 

Granted there are some people who just have to cut their losses and get out, but all too often a marriage ends over stupid things like selfishness, childishness, or money.

When we got married, we resolved not to use divorce as an option for us.  We have had our share of problems and always will, but through the years we learn to compromise, to negotiate and to fight fairly.  But we have made the commitment to love each other for better or for worse.  The commitment holds you together for those days when you don't even like your spouse.  Lastly, having God in the middle always makes it easier, it's gotta be that much harder without.

Your friends and neighbors are in our thoughts and prayers Darryl; hope at least some of them can work things out, especially if they have children.

I've watched it with other family members and I've seen up close how difficult it is on everyone involved.  With the divorce rate so high and people settling for one reason or another it has me scared to death.

After what I've seen the chances of my actually getting married are slim to none.  I'd like it to happen one day but I'd rather be single than to live through the other options.

It is a challenge to do it and as everyone has mentioned it seems alot of people don't want to put the effort into it.
I've been lucky enough to be married 34 yrs this month to a wonderful lady and my folks have been married for going on 66 YEARS !!!!!

Our secret is........ we decided whoever decided to leave HAD to take the kids !!!    none wanted to leave then.

Have a happy Aniversary and congratulations on 34 years. Something for us to look forward  to.
   Mama Grizz

That's Brilliant!

Congrats on the 34 years :)

Thank you to you ALL................

    That's great, going on 32 years next month for us.....and before my mom passed away in 2001 my parents were 60 years married..................

Part of the problem is that people now view marriage as temporary and bail out at the first problem or chance to move on to someone else. Statistically speaking most marriages end in divorce now days. It is a committment that has to be worked at. Just because it's great on the honeymoon doesn't mean that no obstacles will pop up over the years. I've been married 10 years now and have no intentions of changing my marrital status. The trend to marry and divorce at the drop of a hat are attributed to the change in how we view marriage as a commitment. With most households having two money earners it's easy for either to see a patch of grass that they think is greener and move on.
I feel like Robert Frost mourning the loss of ontological certainty. Nothing is solid anymore.  :(

You hit the mark dead center, my friend. No one (mostly) views marriage as forever. It's simply too easy to walk away.

gee...on my 6th marriage now....


















jus kidding, I was married early and stayed married for 6.5 years...SHE got the itch early and left. I thought I would never get married again. Too much work to have it end up like the first. In fact, I told everybody NEVER AGAIN!! I stayed that way for the next 5 years. Single and loving it!!
 Then along came April. I knew her for at least 14 years. Never really cared for her, didn't give her the benefit of ever being a person I could even stand to be alone in the same room with. My first wife and her sister were best friends. So I had known her and her daughter forever. Her daughter was like 3 years old when we first met. Cute as a button. But I really didn't like mom. I was her sister's friend, and that was all I could handle. She had been divorced for about 5 years as well when we first went out. Her sister and her husband thought we would be good together. Reluctantly, I went out with her. 3 months later we were married. I guess since we both thought the other was a jerk, worked better that love at first site. We were married for 16 years. oops .....then we divorced. Dang,...couldn't work out those problems....believe me,we tried. I hate to give up, but we tried for about 2 years, and it was murder..... So back to the single life.... Oh yeah, we stayed friends, cuz we didn't hate one another, just couldn't fix our lives together. After all, her daughter and I were good buddies thruogh it all, my riding buddy. Well, after 2 years apart, we are back at it again...true love conquers all obsticles. 3 months in and it couldn't be better.
Guess the point I'm making is you really can work it out if you really try...even after divorce    ;D

Thats a nice story and glad that it has worked for you two

Sometimes divorce may be necessary, but it's usually because people don't hesitate to get hitched cause they know they can end it and start again. It doesn't sound like the case with you two, and I hope it works out in the long run. My  Grandparents got divorced for a year (way before me) then decided they couldn't live without eachother. Remarried and lived happily ever after. In my case I grew up with my wife since she was 6 and I was 9. We were friends and didn't start dating until she was 16 and I was 19. That was 12 years ago. You hardly hear about highschool sweethearts getting married any more, but it happens occasionally. If more people saw marriage as a permenant institution (except under extreme circumstances eg abuse) and took more time getting to know who they were with, and then agreed to work on their marriage instead of call it quits at the drop of a hat then we would see a HUGE decrease inthe divorce rate. I know many of you might be tired of hearing this  but it goes back to how our society has changed. everyone is quick to assess blame onothers and deny responsibility for their actions. No one likes to make mistakes, but we're all human. at the early part of the 20th century we didn't have these problems (not saying everything was perfect) certain things were just understood and not challenged for the sake of arguing. You stood up for your country (not dodge the draft then run for president), worked hard, wore your pants up to AVOID showing your underwear, helped others when they were down, and married "for better or worse".

a couple across the street is getting a divorce, I feel sorry for the guy because I feel it's a matter of career choices because he got a job as a cop in Gainesville, and she's a reporter for a local news station.

The only thing that bothers me, maybe they are cool with it, but there's already a new boyfriend and he has practically moved in already,,,,I don't think the husband has even moved out yet.

Id@

almost forgot,,,,my ex-wife sent me an email telling me that her new husband and her were having "problems"

in her mind it's already over,,,,wonder if he knows.

Id@

ive been married (2nd time) for 15yrs. the wife threatens to leave all the time but she still stays. i just tell her not to make false promisis. it has its ups and downs, more ups than downs for me.

jeff

Hey BudMan ...6 wifes but still only one Igloo.

Some things are more important than others....a cooler will never drink your beer....

 ;D 

so i guess we'll just live together, right qt?

jeff

Been there done that and after 9 or 10 years in Florida it's considered a common law marriage.  So the other one gets half.  You'd still have to sign a prenup or move the hell out before the statute kicks in.  I have a hard enough time when pets die.  I don't want to turn around b/f's every 9 years...LOL!   

A word for the wise, never move 'em into your house.  I won't, nor will I move into someone else's house.  Keep your own places and get a third together.  Rent the other two for residual income. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing.  And while love is one portion of it.  It is also a business and should be financially handled like you would a business.  Majority of marriages end due to financial problems, the secondary portion is emotional baggage and issues that one picks up long before the marriage.

         Gee i am feeling so bummed out for ya'll who haven't found your other half yet..................keep the faith , he/she is around the next bend, or in some cases right next door.........LOL...............

Happily everything worked just right for me.I got all my wildness out
of my system .Running the roads,hanging out in the bars ,spending
all my $$ on dumb stuff.I wasnt even looking when I met my wife and
when I saw her.All that stuff everyone talks about happened and I
knew we would be married eventually.It;s not always a harlequin book
but the rewards outweight the small cost.When I left it up to the man
everything worked out just super.

Been there done that and after 9 or 10 years in Florida it's considered a common law marriage.  So the other one gets half.  You'd still have to sign a prenup or move the hell out before the statute kicks in.  I have a hard enough time when pets die.  I don't want to turn around b/f's every 9 years...LOL!   

A word for the wise, never move 'em into your house.  I won't, nor will I move into someone else's house.  Keep your own places and get a third together.  Rent the other two for residual income. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing.  And while love is one portion of it.  It is also a business and should be financially handled like you would a business.  Majority of marriages end due to financial problems, the secondary portion is emotional baggage and issues that one picks up long before the marriage.


ok, im convenced, we'll just be friends  ;).

jeff