ATV Florida Forum

General => Open Discussion => Topic started by: TRX350_On_The_Rack on June 22, 2005, 12:21:46 PM



Title: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: TRX350_On_The_Rack on June 22, 2005, 12:21:46 PM
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with   him.
 
  The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth."No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he  heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
 
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. ""What's going on here?" asked
the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses,

"Not with a carnation"


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Anoriginal on June 22, 2005, 03:13:59 PM
As an attorney, I find that extremely funny!  I'm going to tell that one quite a bit.
Thanks for the laugh.


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: gery350 on June 22, 2005, 03:21:59 PM
i got one and i know its a classic. but how do you know when an attorneys lying?.
......

.......

.....

........ his lips are moving.
 no offence anoriginal.  if your planning on litigation this is not me. i am currently insane.


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Lost Soul on June 22, 2005, 03:34:21 PM
How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?



It depends on how thin you slice 'em


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Lost Soul on June 22, 2005, 03:35:27 PM
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?



One is a low level, scum sucking, bottom feeder, the other is a fish.


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Da_Mtg_Man on June 22, 2005, 08:09:42 PM
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a leach?
A leach will stop sucking the blood out of you after you die.


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Da_Mtg_Man on June 22, 2005, 08:11:38 PM
Oh, and speaking of thermometers.
Do you know the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?






















The taste.... ;D


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: klutchbuster400 on June 22, 2005, 08:20:57 PM
Oh, and speaking of thermometers.
Do you know the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?






















The taste.... ;D
think of that from experience? ;)


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Ms.Mud on June 22, 2005, 10:31:47 PM
HAHAHAHA,you guys are hilarious!lol :D


Title: Re: Temp. Reading for a lawyer
Post by: Anoriginal on June 23, 2005, 08:01:49 AM
Why to lawyers wear neck ties?



To keep their foreskin down.