ATV Florida Forum

Is it just me or does everyone else notice the same thing as I do? Why is it that every time you come across a middle aged guy who bought a Harley, got some black Levis, a black vest, some cool shades and some boots that he suddenly thinks he's a total bad azz?

I mean, I see them all the time. Herds of these idiots tooling down the road with their Paul Teutul wanna be moustaches and shades. A fat, middle aged woman on the back wearing clothes about two sizes too small. (Neither with a helmet.) Decked out in their "Harley Gear" from head to toe. When they arrive at ANY location, they come in, engines revving obnoxiously loud, sounding like a magnified fart. They hop off, chests out, bellies sucked in, doing their best to walk like a man with muscle and attitude.

I just laugh. Usually out loud and in their direction. If they ask what I'm laughing at, (usually with an attitude that's waaaaayyyyy too big for their physical prowess) I tell them I'm laughing at them. Then I usually ask if their part of a "motorcycle gang" and if any of them are true 1%. That usually ends the conversation.

Anyway, that's just my observations and experience. Anyone else have similar experiences?

Man I am one of those old guys riding a Harley However I been riding one since I was 16 and rode a cushman for 2 years before that. I know exactly what you are talking about I rode with a large group of bikers ( which I will not mention) way before the hog craze hit. I am like you I just laugh and go on till one gets drunk and tries to prove he is all that.

Difference is I ride me  pretty young chick with me that has tight clothes but has a CFM look not a make me puke look ;)

I do believe that the slow economy has cut some of this back

you just described my brother and step dad

You cant be a rebel if everybody has a job, career , 401k , no criminal record, and a $30-40k bike.

"Bikers" even wanna be's ,are pretty courteous drivers on the road for the most part.
 The only thing I hate is when you need to pull into a gas station and there's 40 idiots with their expensive bikes parked every where and you're trying to get around a pump with a trailer in tow and dont have room to back up with these toys all around.
Good luck finding the owners.

Thats the experience I had in Carnestown the weekend of the Everglades Seafood festival 09.
I pulled in with the buggy in tow and there bikes all over the gas station. I had the same experience earlier in the day at Dade Corners on the way out. There were some 60 bikes blocking the gas and the diesel pumps for the semi's etc.

I only wish they would all park the hell out of the way when the do their "poker runs" or just general BS rides.
Too many wanna be rebels out there IMO. ::)

to each his own...........if you can do it more power to ya.

i sorta share some of your sentiments anoriginal. for example. my family and i are enjoying a sunday morning breakfast at our local cuban restaurant and  4 or 5 of these guys pull right up revving the crap out of their motors(no there not looking for attention ;) ) walk in the resataurant, pull off their shades(in what they believe is a cool swinging gesture) and speak loud and in a deep voice so everyone can hear them. and i'm like please, they'll probably cry like babies if they chip a nail.

like i said to each his own, just stay away from me.

Great post Anoriginal. The only thing you forgot was to mention the occasional super moron that has the added touch of a throw back to the 60's-70's and added the ridiculous "ape hangers" so that they can't possibly maneuver their obnoxiously loud 2 wheeled yuppie-cycle in the event of an obstacle. This also adds an extra element to their tougher than they actually are attitude since they're bold/stupid enough to spend additional cash to have their local dealer install these useless chrome eyesores.   ;)

And as for implications concerning the off highway crowd, why is it our riding spots are actively under attack for their decibel levels while these wanna be's can throttle up in any neighborhood subjecting all ear splitting fart sounds with the claim that "loud pipes save lives" ? I believe we should employ a counter tactic and simply swerve at any fool with such an exhaust to encourage a more friendly attitude toward an pipes with acceptable volume.

Yes i see the same thing at the local car / bike show 
all i can say is look out for the WILD HOGS

I just kind of laugh that I have NEVER seen a Harley rider that didn't have some piece of Harley labeled gear on. It's as if the bike won't start unless they wear something that is labeled Harley Davidson  2:L

My favorite is the typical wanna be that wears the light blue denim sleeveless shirt so that he can show off his "guns" [sic] and the lame barbed wire or Aztec tattoo around his lacking bicep.

Do you think these guys have event he slightest clue of how ridiculously funny they are to the rest of us?

Actually I don't think it's ridiculous, it's the "gear" they feel goes with the package. When I cycle I wear the silly shorts and loud shirt but they are par for the course, the loud shirt is for visual safety and the shorts assist in movement and safety. When I ride sport quad I wear the pants, jersey, helmet and sometimes the chest protector. I'm sure when I'm in sport quad gear at a riding spot that's not a race people prob think I look like I'm trying to be somebody but the reality is the gear is a safety and comfort issue so I guess it's all relevant. I do see everybody's point though, Harley Davidson seems to be an attitude more than an American icon.

When I lift weights I wear my old High school wrestling tights,cool sneakers and the bulging cup that hides my woody from all the chicks in the gym :o

The "gear" they wear isn't for safety. No sleeves, no helmet, cheesy shades...etc. It's "gear" to help personify their total douchebaggery.  ;)

Oh I know... but it is gear to them, it's part of how they define themselves and their riding style even though it poses no safety other than surviving a biker bar. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending them I thought I'd ad a little perspective.

This must be a sight to be seen  (http://www.domesticmisfits.net/forums/images/smilies/icon_rofl.gif)

Great post anoriginal I work with a few of these wannabes its funny to see this every day.
We went to okechobee for the weekend and ate at the brama bull great food there by the way when we heard all this noise in the parking lot turns out ts a bunch of yuppie
wannabe wild hogs . they came in the restaraunt acting like azzes, needless to say
they didnt stay long being in okechobee

Is it any different than someone who buys an atv, a swamp buggy, a camp, an old pair of overalls, suddenly inherits a Southern Accent, 200 pounds and a taste for PBR?   rolback1 2:L :R :M :R 2:L rolback1

Another great post by Analoriginal. There is alot of truth to this and everyone has an azzo/opinion. There are wannabees in everything. You take a person that buys a 180 mile an hour crotch rocket for 0% down, no interest for 50 years add a full face, leather jacket with PRETTY colors and some non functional riding boots and you have a NEW ORGAN DONNER.

I am a Harley Rider. A 1988 FXRP, that has 18.5" ape hangers. I took 6 months off and did a cross country ride in 1990. 42 states plus Canada and Mexico. The people that usually engage in this type of sterotyping are usually jealous and wish they could be that person and most likely have a small weiner.   

Bushwacker you sound hot!  Makes a gal wish she was single.  haha  Diggin you always make me laugh!  Great posts.

I saw a sign in a real biker bar about 10 years ago and it said "$15,000 and 15,000 miles does not make you a biker." 

Thanks for the great posts!  They are awesome!  Dawn

Now Vforce, unless you're a poser who fits the description of the type of person I was describing you've got no worries. However, my description was far from stereotypical. Rather, I identified a very distinct group of people. Funny how everyone that responded knew exactly what I was talking about.

Glad you're a Harley rider. If that blows our skirt up....good for you. Not my cup of tea. I just hope you're not the type that puts on an imaginary 30lbs of muscle and attitude everytime you throw a leg over your bike. If you are, then you're a clown and the rest of us will continue to laugh at you and make fun of you like the others. Fortunately for you, I doubt you fall into this category. You've made some post I don't agree with in the past but, that doesn't necessarily make you a complete jerk. I don't think you are anyway. Besides, you're fun to me.

As far as wishing I were someone else, let me explain something. First, if I so desired, I could go buy any Harley or custom bike I wanted. In fact, I could buy two or even three. Affording them along with all the douchebag gear that people seem to require with one isn't a problem for me. For the most part, I buy whatever I want, whenever I want. I am grateful for the ability to do so. Believe me, I've never wanted to be anyone else but me. People who envy waste time doing so when they could be achieving on their own. As for me, I spend my time achieving.

Second, despite being able to afford just about any toy I could ever want, I'm not carefree with my money. I work waaaaayyyy to hard for it to be carefree. Also, my wiener is big enough that I don't need a $25k motorcycle to add an imaginary inch or two to it. Some people do. Others just like the bikes. Again, not my thing or any of my friends' thing. We like spending our money on other, equally ridiculous items that we garner more good times from than we would an over priced motorcycle. Boats, property, guns, houses, swamp buggies, four wheelers, trips to cool locations, etc. That's just our prerogative, and nothing more. If someone wants to spend all of their money buying Peeps and eating them, it's up to them. However, I'm going to laugh at them. Probably harder than the Harley morons I've described.

Third, opinions are indeed like azzholes. However, my original post was an observation that was established as fact based upon the myriad of responses I got. Come on man, don't pretend you don't know the type of person I'm talking about. If it hits too close to home for you, that's just a shame. Just don't take it so personal. I'll even buy you a Harley neckerchief to make up for it.  :-*

I mean, I could dress up every day like a cowboy, buy a horse, wear a hat, chew tobacco and stop bathing. However, that wouldn't make me a badazz cowboy or any tougher. Rather, it would make me look like an idiot for all of the general public to laugh at. These fake, poser, wanna be Harley morons are no different. They're hilarious! Myself and most people I know think the same thing and enjoy a laugh at their expense. Notice, I am only talking about a specific group and not the entire population of Harley enthusiast.

Now go put on some jeans, a black sleeveless Harley shirt, some big black boots and some cheesy shades and rev that bike up of yours. I promise you'll feel better.  :D :D

Love,


Matt

 ;)

Oh, and nothing says organ donor like a middle-aged white guy on a Harley, in traffic with no helmet.

Now, if you'll all excuse me, Chillinthemost and I are dressing up like Cowboys and heading down to our local country bar to do some line dancing. You people need to step off or we'll hog tie you to the back of our horses and drag you through cow poop. We cowboys don't cotton to being poked fun of.

 :o

OK, thanks for the invite, but I've decided I'm NOT going camping with you and Chillin

 :D :D :D

Oh come on. We already bought a Speedo for you and you're supposed to bring the pudding.

Anoriginal, nothing like a $25,000 dollars bike that only should cost about 5 grand at best. :stoogies.gif
I sure hope cops will crack down on there annoying no muffler exhaust systems one of these days, they are completely asinine. I must say I do enjoy polluting them with diesel smoke though. :Yo  rolback1

I hear ya. Diesel smoke is great for them and the ricer car drivers as well.

I used to love out running the Harleys in my Mustang back when I was into the drag racing thing.  It was worth it just to see their faces as I drove by them, waving while they had the throttle pegged for all they're worth.  ;)

Analriginal, why are you always saying mean things to me :'( You know it hurts my feelings. I knew i could get you out for a well written, authorative resume on your wealth and intelligence. Gothcha. :-*

Here is some more of my resume (I know you want to be like me). I bought my 1988 for $6100 brand new. I already put it in my will for my oldest boy who can keep it for his son as well. Thats the thing about these bikes. If you have to explain the differance, they will not understand anyway so do not bother.

I rode Sunday and had to go home because it stopped leaking oil and one of my Crocs fell off.           

I to have seen these type of people and get a little giggle going on with myself. I wouldn't go as far as to call them "douchebaggery" though. I know they are far form douche or even uberdouche. I think those people could spontaneously create a new element on the periodic table know as douche nine. Them being a douche nine meaning a periodic element of douchosity, mainly a metal of embryonic wankpuddery!

Well at least your custom embroidered HD doo-rag didn't blow off  ;)

Oh my God. Now that's funny. Even Vforce has to admit that'll make one laugh.



Vforce, like I said, if you don't fit the bill of what I've described (douche nine as Maverick explained) then why the puffed chest on your part? Maybe it has something to do with your anal fixation you throw into any post in response to me?

Anyway, I've already set things up to leave my son some pretty cool stuff as well. None of which include a Harley but, who knows? Maybe when they pay more over the long run than my other investments I'll consider them. A smart investor always remains open to all sorts of areas of return. However, you lose points in my book for the crocs thing. Even if they're genuine Harley crocs, they're just....well, they're gay.

I've got an old snapper lawn mower that has ape hanger bars and no muffler. I'm thinking about making a poker run on it sometime. But, first I need to get myself some junk hugger jeans, a few tats and a leather vest. Then I'd be totally bad azz! Trx#9 and Mav are already modifying their mowers to join me. We're going to be awesome. Maybe you (Vforce) can come along too?

Douche Nine....that's funny.   :D

Thats right Anoriginal I almost have the Murry 12.5 horse in the shed ready! I just have to get the sissy bar mounted! TRX#9 and I are going to make it to the toys for tots run, you in?

Toys for Tots run? I am on it like a fat kid on a cupcake. I just got a new set of Orange County Chooper boots and matching sunglasses that I want to sport on the ride. So, lets ride!!

Sweet I'm in, I also just received our studded leather bracelets that I order for us all.  8)
Mav, I need my motorhead jean jacket back from you, remember you borrowed it for your Key west trip. :Y

 :drive.gif rolback1

eh, theres all kinds of groups of people that other people find funny. middle aged harley guys are normally good for a pretty good laugh, but nothing gets me laughing like a riced out econobox turd, or even beter, someone running one down at the dragstrip on the friday nigh test and tune. just as the ricer guys would laugh at me in my lifted pick up truck running at the drag strip... even as a guy with a lifted pickup truck, i cant help but laugh at some people in ridiculously jacked up trucks, or even beter a short guy in one. you know, that guy who has never taken it off roading, it just needs to be 10ft tall to make up for his tiny pecker lol

haha good post.

theres this one guy that rides around town as fast as he can, cutting people off, riding center lane, etc etc with one hand on his ape hangers all slung over. and reaches up to shift occasionally. Bike sounds amazing though, i'll give him that.

These type of people don't really bug me. It's when they goose it at a stop light and then proceed to do 10 under the speed limit. I like to throw half eaten burritto's at them.

Trx#9 and Mav -

Are we going to wear our matching Sturgis t-shirts under our vests this time? I think that when we all match we really look imposing and tough.

How did we ever get to be such tough cool dudes?

OK i will get that back to you. You might be mad at me though. i went a little crazy with my rine stone gun and wrote Maverick down the sleeve. Everybody in Key West loved it!  8) I did put TRX#9 on the other sleeve just for you though.  :-*


You know we are wearing those shirts! Matching is good! When we do that is classifies us as a "gang"! I do have one request though? As long as i can wear my leather chaps I am in! The guys at the fuzzy pickle said i look like a hard azz in them! Susan knows all about it!  ;)

They do look good on you Mav. :-* You guys mind if I bring my ferret, I have a matching outfit for him too. 8)

Mav -

I am glad you're wearing chaps. I plan to as well. I like them because they show off my wonderfully tight muffin azz. Also, BuythisATVstuff is coming along too. He's riding on the back with me.

Trx (Erik) -

Ragnar the ferret? Heck yeah! Bring him.

I can't wait to suck in our guts, act totally badazz and rev up our engines for no reason at all, just to make noise.  We totally ROCK!

I was thinking we need another bad ass biker gang name, they get old every 6 months or so.  8)

How about the "MAVANORIGINAL#9".  ;)

HEY!! easy on the crocs things...mine are in camo!!  They kick my toenails clean

Oh, now that's got an excellent ring to it indeed. We're truly badazzes for sure.

GARYM - If they're camo and you've got a HD neckerchief....you're cool.  ;)

Is Ragnar the Viking mascot? I actually went to school with him.  He was a grade a head of me one year and then we were in the same grade and by the time I graduated he was a grade behind me.  haha  Not the brightest bulb on the tree, but he is a big deal in MN and I wonder how much money he makes off those dolls of him.  If they only knew.  haha  Maybe you can hang a Ragnar doll off your ape hangers or dress him the same as you and your ferrett.  haha 

Thats Meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, when did a big azz two story house on the Manatee River become a trailer in a trailer park? 

 rolback1


Douche Nine baby!!!
 ;)

Douche Nine.

That was a great ride down to the Key's last weekend boy's, we should do it again. I think our new bike gang was even tougher this time than last time, we sure did scare the hell out of that church group Sunday morning. 8)

We are bad to the bone... :Y

Yeah, we pretty much totally rock. That entire church group was having cows on the spot when Mav stood up on his gas tank at 40 mph wearing nothing but chaps!

And those matching nipple piercings we all got in Key West just exude badassery! You guys are the best!

Ya that was a great ride!  8) my HD dohoo dilly seat was great! smooth ride! I think the one lady in the church group dropped her dentures when i gave her that fruit basket! i know we got matching nipple rings guys but i just had to bump up my toughness. I went to the local Jim's and got me the nipple ring with the dangling HD on it. You know in order to be a bad azz you have to put as much HD flair as possible!  >:D

You know, you are totally right Mav. I am going to get tat's on each butt cheek of Paul Teutul Sr. and Jr. with a HD tramp stamp to boot. I am so cool!

You know its funny, you completley changed my perspective towards bikers. Used to I wouldnt even hardly notice them. My truck is loud enough to usually drown their bikes out but now i cant help but cracking up at them at redlights and stuff. Just the other day after i read your post i was at a red light on US1 and this guy was sitting there with this big ass black helmet that had HD on the back...sticker that had HD on it ON the helmet. He had a black leather vest with all these harley patches and crap. The little leather like string things on them. Black leather pants that looked all fancy and crap. I mean just all out harley this and harley that. Was riding some kind of clean looking harley that looked like it had less miles on it then my shoes have on them. I was like wow dude seriously? You must be about 15% cooler than anyone else on the planet forever...

I dont even see why every biker on the planet insists on riding a brand new harley. Ive seen the bikes that kawasaki and yamaha make. They look hella sweet...not much different than the harleys and usually will out perform them. And for the price...you can buy one..get the exact one you want with any option you want and still have thousands left to spend on all your favorite harley davidson apparel.... Madness if you ask me.

Sometimes, I think that a person could save their poop, paint it orange and black and slap an HD sticker on it and sell it on Ebay for a coupel hundred bucks.......

Oh.....wait a minute.....I'm headed to the bathroom and then to the hardware store for some paint. Anyone know where I can get some really cheesy HD stickers for cheap?

Neigh!  Neigh!  Neeeiiiiighhh... akkk .... akkk.... cough.... croak!

Okay, don't you boys think you've beaten this horse long enough?  Geeeezz.  ;D

never!!!!!!

No, but you CAN buy an early 90's Honda civic that's barely running, put a loud muffler on it and sell it for $2,000  :D

If you're going to stick with the HD route, include a black sleeveless shirt, a HD do rag, and a temp tattoo of "born to ride" and up the price to $1,200 as the "road warrior" package  ;)