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Title: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: dgt714 on May 22, 2008, 07:11:51 PM Here is a way to handle frustration and anger.
> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten > to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying > "Hello." > > I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn > Carter?" > > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing > number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that > anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to > call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two > digits. > > After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. > > When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!" > and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to > it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was > paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, > "You're an a#$hole!" > > It always cheered me up. > > When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole' > calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, > this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if > you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?" > > He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back > and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up. > > One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. > Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had > patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting > for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign > in his back window, so I wrote down his number. > > A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had > his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW > a$#hole, too. > > I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" > > He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and > the car's parked right out in front." > > I asked, "What's your name?" > > He said, "My name is Don Hansen," > > I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > > He said, "I'm home every evening after five." > > I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" > > He said, "Yes?" > > I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!" > > Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. > Now, when > I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an > idea. I called a$#hole #1. > > He said, "Hello." > > I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I > didn't hang up.) > > He asked, "Are you still there?" > > I said, "Yeah," > > He screamed, "Stop calling me," > > I said, > "Make me," > > He asked, "Who are you?" > > I said, "My name is Don Hansen." > > He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34 > Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in > front." > > He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start > saying your prayers." > > I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up. > > Then I called A$#hole #2. > > He said, "Hello?" > > I said, "Hello, a$#hole," > > He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > I said, "You'll what?" > > He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass." > > I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance. > I'm coming over right > now." > > Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived > at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay > lover. > > Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree > Blvd. > > I > quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in > time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front > of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news > crew. > > NOW, I feel much better. > > Anger management really does work. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Fox17 on May 22, 2008, 10:50:54 PM i need to try that
Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: kawasakimojaverider on May 22, 2008, 10:58:03 PM Here is a way to handle frustration and anger. lol :bow.gif> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten > to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying > "Hello." > > I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn > Carter?" > > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing > number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that > anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to > call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two > digits. > > After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. > > When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!" > and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to > it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was > paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, > "You're an a#$hole!" > > It always cheered me up. > > When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole' > calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, > this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if > you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?" > > He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back > and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up. > > One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. > Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had > patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting > for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign > in his back window, so I wrote down his number. > > A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had > his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW > a$#hole, too. > > I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" > > He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and > the car's parked right out in front." > > I asked, "What's your name?" > > He said, "My name is Don Hansen," > > I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > > He said, "I'm home every evening after five." > > I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" > > He said, "Yes?" > > I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!" > > Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. > Now, when > I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an > idea. I called a$#hole #1. > > He said, "Hello." > > I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I > didn't hang up.) > > He asked, "Are you still there?" > > I said, "Yeah," > > He screamed, "Stop calling me," > > I said, > "Make me," > > He asked, "Who are you?" > > I said, "My name is Don Hansen." > > He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34 > Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in > front." > > He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start > saying your prayers." > > I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up. > > Then I called A$#hole #2. > > He said, "Hello?" > > I said, "Hello, a$#hole," > > He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > I said, "You'll what?" > > He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass." > > I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance. > I'm coming over right > now." > > Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived > at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay > lover. > > Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree > Blvd. > > I > quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in > time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front > of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news > crew. > > NOW, I feel much better. > > Anger management really does work. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Slick89 on May 23, 2008, 12:51:08 AM haha good one
Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: brocker on May 23, 2008, 07:38:30 AM You might need professional help, Dan. That's funny!
Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Ida_Mann on May 23, 2008, 08:49:54 AM is there a way to add phone numbers to the profiles on this site :-*
Id@ Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: 1FasterBlaster on May 23, 2008, 02:15:17 PM Someone took my parking space while I was going into Home Depot to buy supplies for work. I noticed he was still parked when I came out.
Because I had to look for another parking space, it took up more of my time than necessary. To thank him, I generously gave him a handful of roofing nails under his tires!! Have a nice day ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Gato on May 23, 2008, 05:09:31 PM I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price
So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$ Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call so I talk as if he was then he says the same thing as I do it too then 2 days later he does it again again I play along then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't 6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry but I tell them both please don't call no more they do it again and again I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while. Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Fox17 on May 23, 2008, 10:42:08 PM I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$ Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call so I talk as if he was then he says the same thing as I do it too then 2 days later he does it again again I play along then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't 6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry but I tell them both please don't call no more they do it again and again I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while. new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: miami_rider#13 on May 23, 2008, 11:10:53 PM Here is a way to handle frustration and anger. > I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten > to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying > "Hello." > > I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn > Carter?" > > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing > number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that > anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to > call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two > digits. > > After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. > > When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$%hole!" > and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to > it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was > paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, > "You're an a#$hole!" > > It always cheered me up. > > When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$#hole' > calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, > this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if > you're f amiliar with our Caller ID Program?" > > He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back > and said, "That's because you're an a$#hole!" and hung up. > > One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. > Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had > patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting > for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign > in his back window, so I wrote down his number. > > A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had > his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW > a$#hole, too. > > I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" > > He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and > the car's parked right out in front." > > I asked, "What's your name?" > > He said, "My name is Don Hansen," > > I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > > He said, "I'm home every evening after five." > > I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" > > He said, "Yes?" > > I said, "Don, you're an a$#hole!" > > Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. > Now, when > I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an > idea. I called a$#hole #1. > > He said, "Hello." > > I said, "You're an a$#hole!" (But I > didn't hang up.) > > He asked, "Are you still there?" > > I said, "Yeah," > > He screamed, "Stop calling me," > > I said, > "Make me," > > He asked, "Who are you?" > > I said, "My name is Don Hansen." > > He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "A$#hole, I live at 34 > Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in > front." > > He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start > saying your prayers." > > I said , "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$#hole," and hung up. > > Then I called A$#hole #2. > > He said, "Hello?" > > I said, "Hello, a$#hole," > > He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > I said, "You'll what?" > > He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass." > > I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance. > I'm coming over right > now." > > Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived > at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay > lover. > > Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree > Blvd. > > I > quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in > time to watch two a$#holes beating the crap out of each other in front > of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news > crew. > > NOW, I feel much better. > > Anger management really does work. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] LMFAOOOO officially the funniest thing on this website for sure Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: EigerGuy on May 24, 2008, 09:57:35 AM lol funny sh*t
Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: quadracer1992 on May 24, 2008, 10:12:54 AM I also had a$$Ole experiance I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got cals for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? but if you are an a$$Ole I store it on the phone and whenever you call back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price So we begin a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$ Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where the 1st call so I talk as if he was then he says the same thing as I do it too then 2 days later he does it again again I play along then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it his friend call later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't 6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high I say I am sorry but I tell them both please don't call no more they do it again and again I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them I sold it sorry thanks for calling but it was I that called them I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didnt want to change it they started turning it off at night for bed so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number I said thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method work store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles.then have your fun with them a while. new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol Thats awesome but the first one was better, even if it probably wasnt true. Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: Gato on May 24, 2008, 07:12:47 PM I also had a$$Ole experience I was selling a 99 Z71 with low miles and I got calls for it but when asked how much I said $14k this was in 03-04 Nice truck,but back to the story when I sell something just so you all know I answer all ?? (questions) but if you are an a$$Ole I store it (YOUR PHONE #) on the phone and whenever you ( the person interested) calls back I would know it was the same guy and I would store it with the $$ (PRICE). I had giving said person so even if I had lowered it I would still give them the same price. So when a guy calls I tell him all about the truck and he says I am asking to much so I say I am sorry that is the $$(PRICE). Next day he calls again as if he was interested but as if it where a 1st time call. so I talk as if he was calling for the first time. then he says the same thing (PRICE IS TOO HIGH) as I do it too (SORRY THAT IS THE PRICE ($$)). then 2 days later he does it again. again I play along . then he calls but with a buddies phone so again I store it. his friend calls later again and acts like he is a new caller but I know it isn't. 6-7 days goes by and I still have the truck they call again 2 times each 1 day apart. I told them the price of the truck and again they say it is too high. I say I am sorry but I tell them both please don't call no more. they do it again and again. I finally sell the truck for $12500 and promply call them and tell them I sold it but lie and say I sold it for $13750 for the kicks. I have been calling these knuckle heads since I sold the truck telling them "I sold it sorry thanks for calling" but it was I that called them. I get up for work at 5:30 first thing I would do is call both of them like a wake up call, and told them both as long as they keep the number I would keep calling (it was a business cell phone) so they didn't want to change it ,they started turning it off at night for bed, so I started calling in the afternoon then morning again. this went on til about Nov 06 on and off from different numbers till YES they changed the number. I said ( to myself )thank god cause I was about to give up on them So yes this method works store numbers and later when you sell the item in question erase them unless of course the are a$$Oles. then have your fun with them a while. new record for the longest run-on sentence. backwoodsboy has been beat. i couldnt even read that. lol Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: dgt714 on May 26, 2008, 07:17:18 PM Someone took my parking space while I was going into Home Depot to buy supplies for work. I noticed he was still parked when I came out. Nice touch ;D ;DBecause I had to look for another parking space, it took up more of my time than necessary. To thank him, I generously gave him a handful of roofing nails under his tires!! Have a nice day ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: dgt714 on May 26, 2008, 07:20:03 PM You might need professional help, Dan. That's funny! I know ;D ;D ;D <sofa peeky> <nanaparty>Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: quadracer1992 on May 26, 2008, 08:46:15 PM You might need professional help, Dan. That's funny! I know ;D ;D ;D <sofa peeky> <nanaparty>Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: dgt714 on May 26, 2008, 09:03:02 PM An email one of my "sik"friends sent me.
Title: Re: ANGER MANAGEMENT Post by: FoxHondaRider on June 05, 2008, 04:44:31 PM that one made my day. thats hilarious!
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