ATV Florida Forum

ON A LIGHTER NOTE<These are some funny quotes I found add any if you got any

"The most terrifying words in the English langauge are: I'm from the government and
I'm here to help."
-- Ronald Reagan

"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
-- Jimmy Carter.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
-- George Bush.

"Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it
bears a very close resemblance to the first."
-- Ronald Reagan.

"I do not belong to any organised political party: I'm a democrat."
-- Will Rogers.

"Not only is life a biatch, it has puppies."

-- Adrienne Gusoff.

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

-- Sacha Guitry

"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."

-- Steven Wright.

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be
trained to do most things."

-- Jilly Cooper.

"An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more
interested he is in her."

-- Agatha Christie.

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money
costs less."

-- Brendan Francis.

"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell
your mother."

-- Charles Pierce.

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in
later life."

-- Emo Philips.

"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse."

-- Groucho Marx.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
-- Anonymous

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!