I SOLD MY DADS 2001 300EX

One day while lost in the vast woodlands of Scotland, I came upon a pop machine, I had no money, and because of my strong moral values, I felt I could not force it open with a stick or break it with a rock, because that was wrong. As I sat there leaning against it, I pondered how I could get a refreshing can of pop. I got up and looked around to find a coin or a bill that someone might have left or lost. After five or six hours I gave up, no one had dropped anything that I could find. By this time it was now nightfall, so I slept leaning against this oasis. While asleep, I had a wonderful dream of this pop machine. I dreamed that it opened up and asked me to indulge in a cold refreshing drink. Another dream I had was where every five minutes the machine gave me a can from now until eternity.

When I awoke I jumped up and turned around to see if any of the dreams were true. I quickly saw that they were not. I decided that I could not leave this place until I had enjoyed a can of pop. By the 3rd day, I had to scout for food and water because I was feeling malnourished. As I walked around I found a snack machine the kind with many divine foods inside such as candy bar and chips, but still no way to eat them. I stayed here until morning trying to rig a transport of some sort for it. I cut a tree down and made 4 wheels and eventually a cart to support the machine and than to transport the machine to the other. This was such a great task, I forgot about my hunger. By dusk I had arrived back at the pop machine. As I set the candy machine next to the pop machine, my hunger came back even stronger than before Once again, I knew I could not break into the machine to eat, again my strong moral values. So I went out again in search of food and water.

As my walk progressed I found a stream and I took a drink and ate many fish, then thought that I should of cooked them first. On my way back, I got lost and had to sleep under a foreign tree and try to find my way home at day break. As I tried to find my way home, I found another machine. It was one with pre-made sandwiches. As I looked at it, a sign on it read "Sandwiches made fresh every morning". I thought about this and thought maybe the person who stocks the machine might have dropped some money. I looked, but again as before found none. I built this one a trailer and moved it to the others after I found my way back.

While I went to sleep leaning against the machines I thought about how I could fool the machines into giving me food. I thought about making coins or bills to confuse the machine. I thought about this for several hours and I decided to attempt to use leaves to buy a pop. I looked around for a leaf that had texture and size that was comparable to that of a dollar bill. I set out on a long trek to locate a leaf that fit my profile.

As I was gathering leaves I found a change machine so I built another cart and took it to the others. I tried my leaves in the pop machine, one after another. I have about 5 leaves left when my mind started to think that this would not work. But I kept trying -- 4 left, no pop, 3 left, no pop, 2 left, no pop, one left, Oh my goodness, it worked. It accepted by leaf. The read out said not enough credit use exact change; credit 25 cents; add 25 cents now. "What" I yelled. How is that only a quarter, it accepted it as a bill. To say the least I was mad. I pressed the coin release. It didn't work, now I was really mad.

I took off running to find the tree where I got the first leaf, finally I found it. I took a leaf that looked like the other one and headed back. Because I was running so fast, I tripped and fell. While laying there gathering my strength to get back up, I saw a gum-ball machine so of course I had to take it to the others, but this was much easier because I could carry it. I hurried back and put the leaf into the pop machine, only to see the LED read out again say Credit 25 cents and 25 cents more. I hadn't seen a piece of paper taped to it that read "Sorry about your quarter, but I only had one and I was dying for a drink:. I was so mad I could kill this man. But there was no sign of him. I ran for another leaf, got it and ran back on the way back I found a cash machine this disturbed me because I had left my cash card with my money, but I took the machine anyway. I put the leaf in the machine it clicked and I pushed Mountain Dew button, the can fell bounced off the front bumper then rested neatly in the tray.

I pulled it out looked at it, felt it, thought about it. Then I opened it. I smelled it, and drank it.

This night was different, I felt very nourished, I was refreshed. I slept great. When I awoke, I went for leaves and bought a candy bar and a pop.

Around lunch I heard a whistling sound. As I listened, it got louder and more clear, soon a skirted man approached.

"Hello," he stated in a Scottish accent.

"Nice skirt," I replied.

"It's a kilt!" he bellowed.

"Whatever!," I told him, and mumbled, "to each his own" to myself.

We visited for awhile about the sky and how blue it was, then about how brown the dirt was. I offered him a pop and he said that he would buy it so I let him. As we talked, I asked him how to get out of the woods he said he didn't know he had been lost for about 3 years now and has just been wandering around. As we spoke, we heard what sounded like a truck, it was a truck. A man wearing a Pepsi shirt got out and walked up to the machine and opened it. I asked him if he would give me a ride to the next town. He said no riders were permitted. I looked at the skirted man then we looked at the Pepsi man, looked back at each other then be both leapt to our feet and strangled the Pepsi man. We both hit him and then I tied him up. We both bought a pop and a sandwich with the Pepsi mans money. We walked to this truck and drove off.

When we got the next town we both went our different ways, and here I am today, and Him, I think he plays Willie on the Simpsons.